Lately

Recently in our lives Dane has started back up at school. Which means I pretty much don't see him that often. He works all day, and then heads to school in the evenings. I work for my mom during the day, but the evenings are ridiculous with me sitting at home trying to get things done. Empty houses are not so much fun when they are like that every night.

This baby kicks and moves a ridiculous amount. I don't think there is any given moment in time when I can't feel him moving around. I'm not sure what it is...but he's a mover.

I had to go get a RhoGam shot at the hospital yesterday because I have negative blood, and the baby has a 50% percent chance of having Dane's positive blood. So what that means is that some of the baby's blood could potentially get into my system and my body would begin rejecting it. Not good. So I got to get a big ol' shot. Right in the hip. I had to have it done at the hospital, and while the nurse prepped the shot for me I had to wait in one of the empty delivery rooms.

Yeah........nothing to freak me out like waiting in a delivery room. I had to work really hard to not have a panic attack.

Ridiculous, I know, but I am started to get really nervous about having to birth a child from my body. Thinking about it freaks me out. Also the fact that we have to deliver in the Payson hospital (which is roughly 45 minutes away) isn't helping matters. That seems like a really long drive to make when I'm in labor.I know it's still three months away...but at the same time, three months seems really short compared to the last six. Like, really really really short. And then there's no changing it. I will be a mom. I will have to take care of a baby. It's going to be hard. What can I do to MENTALLY prepare for this? I don't want to be freaking out for the next three months. I know most of it is in my head. I mean, I'm terrified every time I get a shot even though I know it's not going to hurt that bad. It's the thought of it that terrifies me.
Some days I'm totally excited for this. Other days I'm terrified.

Mostly I'm excited. But some days my fears get the better of me. Can you tell today is one of those days?