1 year old

I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. The fear, the anxiety, the stress, and then pure and simple joy.
I remember laying on a stiff hospital bed, arms pinned down away from my body. I remember telling Dane over and over that he needed to distract me from what was about to happen, because if I thought about it I was going to freak out. I remember Dane was already freaking out, and was very bad at keeping me distracted. Within minutes I felt my child being born, and I could hear tiny gurgling screams. Tears streamed down my face as they spoke across the room and told me he was a healthy 8 lb 13 oz boy with a LOT of red hair. I remember thinking that there was no way he could have red hair.

I dread the day it goes blonde.

Milo is so incredibly grown up. Holy cow. I still can't wrap my mind around him turning one. Does it feel this way with every child? I feel like today he is turning one, but next thing I know he is going to be driving and dating and going on a mission.

He is becoming so unbelievably independent and opinionated. At times it can be really overwhelming. How do I explain to a 12 month old that he can't run into the street because he could get hurt? That he can't just STEP off of a step and expect to make it safely to the bottom of a flight of stairs? That he can't jump off the edge of the couch and be ok? That he needs to eat something other than yogurt? He has all of these opinions, but very little way to express them, so he usually just does whatever he wants and I try to keep him from getting irreversibly harmed.
Just yesterday he dove head first over the armrest of the couch. Many tears followed. That same day, we were at the store and he reached for something on the shelf and FELL out of the cart! Luckily that time I was able to catch him (upside down) before he cracked his head on the floor. He didn't even react to that. Just sat up and babbled happily at me. 

There is no fear in this boy. He will run off down the road, into a crowd of people and jump off of dangerous things without a second thought. Most of the time he doesn't care if I come with him or not. I like that he isn't afraid of things. I was always afraid of things as a kid, and I love that (so far) he hasn't seemed scared of hardly anything.

I was very excited for his birthday cake smash, and I wasn't disappointed. He picked at it and got decently messy. Atta boy.

If I pat Milo on the back when he coughs, or when he's upset, he will pat me back and lean his head on my shoulder. As a baby, it was really hard to get Milo to laugh, but now he laughs and smiles and giggles at everything! He is becoming so expressive and emotional. He has grown up so much in the last month.

He constantly wants to be outside. Heaven forbid anyone leaves the house and heads up the stairs to the backyard, because if he sees them leave he has a full blown meltdown. It's impressive. Banging on the door, crawling along the floor sobbing and desperately trying to get the door open. The second that same person returns, the tantrum ends. He can't stand the thought of someone being outside without him. When we go out in the yard, he would stay there all day. Too bad he has a mommy that can't stand the heat for longer than a few hours. We need to live by a beach.

Milo has also become a lot more snugly. He will let me pull him onto my lap and he will sit there for SO LONG (if he's tired). Most days he is a mommas boy, but the other day he woke up in the middle of the night after vomiting all over, and after I got him cleaned up Dane walked in and Milo shoved my away and clung to Dane for a half hour. It was kind of adorable.

Every day I feel so blessed to be this little boys mom. He is turning into such an amazing little boy with such a huge personality.

Happy Birthday to my little boy. It's been an amazing year. The best year of my life.