food and depression

I spent a really really long time making dinner last night. I practically slaved over it in chains. When it was done, it looked so incredibly delicious! I couldn't wait to eat it. I even took a picture of it. Yeah, it looked that magnificent.

The baby was in bed. I served myself a bowl of delicious looking food. Since Dane was at work, I sat down by myself to eat it.

It.
Was.
Disgusting.

I started bawling my eyes out. I called Dane immediately, and the second he answered I just started blubbering into the phone "I spent a really long time making dinner, and it was so nasty, and I just wasted so much food on a nasty dinner, and I'm all by myself!!"

He tried really hard to be comforting. I was still sad. I had made a gross dinner, tried to eat it by myself, and then collapsed in tears. I felt  quite pathetic.

So, when I got off the phone, I was still slightly distraught. I boxed up the gross dinner (because Dane insisted he was going to eat it) and put it in the fridge. Made myself a PB&J. And basically just wallowed in my misery for a few hours until Dane got home.

Oh. And the power went out in the middle of my wallowing. Have I ever  mentioned that being in the dark all alone freaks me out? Cause it does. I basically sat on my bed with the computer glowing and a flashlight on the door until Dane got home. I'm a wuss when I'm by myself. With Dane I can be pretty brave, but leave me alone? Not good.

I'm doing better today. But I need more people to talk to. I think Milo feels it too. He hardly ever interacts with other babies, and I feel kinda bad. Maybe I should set up play dates for him.

And completely unrelated pictures of my fantastic child.